Brilliant, as always!! I’ve always been deeply self-conscious of the way I look (and photograph) so I capture so few pictures of myself. That itself is a tragedy because I’m writing myself out of my own history. But also I take fewer pictures of people in my life unless I can capture their best angles and “candid” shots that are anything but.
I will say a lot of that changed when I had kids (not that this is an answer) but now my camera roll is filled with giggly videos of them chasing squirrels, etc. Now if only I could allow myself the same experience…
there are a few things that have helped me move past this a little, in case you are interested:
1. when i look back on photos of myself years later, i actually have often liked the picture and don’t think any of the things i thought about myself at the time were actually true. recognizing this and remembering that whatever i think about a current picture now probably isn’t accurate either has been immensely helpful.
2. making sure things i can’t change about my physical appearance are the least interesting things about me while embracing my own personal style and being confident in how i conduct myself as i move in the world; thinking that my body is for living/ not looking; having gratitude for all of the things that my body does for me physically.
3. remembering that photos of physical things are hardly ever done justice to how they appear in real life so maybe that’s true of me too. this one is somewhat a smidge delulu maybe but it resonates since we’re not talking about something very high stakes and thinking about myself as an amazing sunset that just cannot be captured on film makes me laugh.
Bravo to all these reminders; especially number 3! Honestly having kids also helped me realize this; I can stick my phone in their faces all I want or I could sit back and enjoy them.
yes, i get so self conscious in photos too! weirdly more so when its a phone rather than a film camera- probably because of our relationship with constant sharing? i think i took selfies because i could control the narrative of how i looked haha.
i was really, really curious to hear from people with children because i was curious how their relationship to photos is as well. i like that my sister tries to get in the photos with her kids so they have memories together, too!
also love my gemini twins -- happy bday to you Kelly!!!
No kids here (yet), but my photos are now mostly of my niece, who was born in March. It’s exciting to see how she grows and changes each day—and the photos reflect that! Candid, sometimes blurry, not always “picture perfect.” I also wish I could allow myself that same experience, to be awed by even bad photos of myself.
Hopefully with time! (And for me, more time away from Instagram!)
I feel you deeply on feeling self-conscious about the way you look, I have that too... but I am slowly getting over it (at almost 50, sheesh). Sometimes I look at a photo I am in right away and cringe, but I will look at it later and I somehow look better (in my eyes). What is that all about!
Has anyone else noticed the cool girl/guy/person “trend” of BAD photo dumps? I first noticed Gen Z (much younger family members and kids of my coworkers…yikes) posting carousels of not-at-all aesthetic pictures that seem to be intentionally random/unflattering. They are usually accompanied by a 2 or 3 word caption that is not at all descriptive of what the carousel contains, and the photos look like they were taken with a shitty camera instead of the super deluxe iPhone you know they are using. More recently, I’ve seen celeb accounts doing the same thing. Does this have a name? Am I just the last person on earth to wake up to it?
Yes! I see so much of this in the like - artsy quirky Brooklyn crowd/breed of people (I’m from New York). I’m generalizing here so no one get offended! I feel like it’s just a different brand of being curated without coming across curated. And being enigmatic in a way where you’re not actually being vulnerable or clear as to what you are sharing but kind of just portraying a character, a cool messy organic life, a quirky aesthetic, etc…I also remember reading an article about the newer movement of “curated authentic photo dumps” that aren’t actually authentic at all.
It is very interesting. I wouldn't say thought it is done in a mean-spirited way. A huge percentage of the world owns an iPhone but modern society is just taking things differently However, these 'bad' photo dumps aren't anything new necessarily.
that is a trend that is been going on for years, it was seen as less, of course.
nowadays, it is seen more naturally... i think we are just absorbing what it is like to enjoy an 'ordinary' lifestyle without using a gigantic photostick to place our phone cameras on objects to get the right angle of our outfits, or the filters used to drown out the 'hideous' realism.
it is expressed more comfortably now, so it is pretty fascinating to see, i think everyone is getting tired of the superficials and just wants to be themselves.
I recently started taking a disposable camera with me when I travel, which I feel like sort of reorients what I’m taking a photo for. While I’m totally guilty of taking 1000x photos of my food normally, it feels stupid to “waste” film on a picture of my fish tacos. The physical photos I will want to keep are the ones that will evoke a felt memory… so maybe there’s still a scene from a boat ride or a snap of some beautiful flowers, but there tend to be lots more of group photos and smiling faces, too.
Thanks for this thoughtful piece as always! And happy happy birthday!
yes honestly some objects do really evoke a feeling for me too! i want to remember them as well - and theres a way to do it without them dominating the scene. im leaning way more into film lately and it feels so good! thanks for the bday wishes :)
Love this Teresa, and it reminds me of when I was younger (40 now) and went travelling around Europe, back in circa 2001, there were no iPhones, obviously, so film was all that was available (though digital cameras were starting to become more popular, I didn’t have one yet) all my photos are on film and it did make taking photos more special in a way.. I was careful and considered about each frame because each photo was at a cost, wild to think of now! My boyfriend at the time and I used to have issues around how many photos I took, something that just would not be a problem today! Also travelling with all my precious film was a concern, keeping them safe and dry. Things we don’t need to consider today. I love that you use film when travelling, you’ve inspired me to do the same when I go to Japan later in the year. So thank you for the idea x
I audibly laughed out loud with the yoga mat montage. I’ve never felt so comically called out by a camera roll screen shot. Bravo on the whole thing once again!!!!
One of my bucket list items for this year was to take a 1 second video each day for a month - I wasn't going to share this video with anyone else (okay, maybe I'd show a close friend or two if they asked), but it would force me to capture moments for the memories. My only condition was that it had to be a moment of joy.
I loved this exercise because it #1) made me realize there is a lot more joy in each day...whether it's the warmth of a walk or a hug from your pup #2) being forced to take a video prevented me from getting caught in the trap of wanting to capture the perfect angle and #3) taking videos of the same cup of coffee gets pretty boring when you're the only one that is going to be watching this later...it forced me to capture the moments that were different and I found myself asking my friends if it'd be okay if I took a one second video of them for the memories.
The resulting video gives me a lot of joy and I love rewatching it! Plus, it's filled with a healthy combination of aesthetic happy shots and joyous snippets of hanging with friends and family!
Wow. This reminds me of 16 year old me, getting back the developed pictures from the family trip (with 99 cent doubles!). So many pictures of scenery that just fell flat; the only keepers were the ones of people. Those are the only ones I still have. I think this was a hard lesson back when you had to pay for every photo. But you are absolutely right about scrolling through your photos - there are months that I scroll through a few shots of my dogs, a handful of screenshots, a picture of the sky and a car, and I think, what have I even been doing? Living of course, and no one wants to see pictures of my office computer, but I need to remind myself that the best photos are those of my friends and family.
there were lessons in those 99 cent doubles for sure! there are definitely time frames when my photos go blank - and i think thats totally okay too. & agreed that the best photos are of my friends + fam.
What amazing self exploration! I think there has been a massive deprioritization of relationships in general due to hyperindividualism.
Also, thinking about social media reduces the distance between marketing and our lives. We can't tell the difference anymore. It used to be for magazines. Maybe that is why people disappear too? They aren't beautiful enough for the food in the image?
Or more so, the moment with the person isn't special? We assume we will have a thousand more meals together and we will look good enough to photograph next time. (Probably neither are true).
I actually struggled with this a little even before Instagram! And I still do years after leaving my personal account behind.
For me, there’s an element of wanting to hold on to something beautiful, to capture it and therefore cling to it. It’s a way of grasping at life as it slips by. But all I’m doing is objectifying a particular moment, something that is inherently transient. It’s like trying to hoard beauty.
♥️ Urgh you’re bang on the discourse, again!!! I feel the EXACT same way about my camera roll. I also listened to a top divorce lawyer on a podcast who said ‘NO COUPLE WHO LOOKS THAT HAPPY ARE HAPPY IN REAL LIFE’ and I think about that a lot. When I was in the unhappiest moments of my marriage I often felt the need to post the ‘happiest’ looking shots. It’s as if, by lying to myself, I could pretend my life online was as ‘real’ as I felt offline. It’s totally fucked up! Out of boredom and a lack of authenticity, I’ve now left Instagram….and I feel so relieved to be free of the bullshit I was participating in for a decade. I was only lying to myself.
Really appreciate this reflection and fully relate. I am now 8 years into parenthood and my relationship with picture taking has changed a few times along the way. Early parenting and my camera roll was FILLED with kid pics (your yoga mat montage could have been replaced with my 6 month old on a picnic blanket). But over the last few years I’ve started questioning why I need to document every second of my children’s lives. I deleted all social media years back, so it also wasn’t about “likes”. I think it has to do with the constant reminder that these moments are fleeting and my kids are constantly changing. One of the many bittersweet elements of parenthood. my challenge now is actually being present with the kids and minimizing the pictures altogether.
Sometimes I think I spend time taking a “beautiful picture” to evoke the beautiful feelings I have in a moment. Maybe this is just an excuse to aestheticize, but I’m not sure I’m fully opposed to that in noncommercial situations (as a regular person not selling anything, ha.) Why not capture what’s beautiful to us? But I also see how truth telling about what’s ~not~ the frame can be just as noteworthy in some contexts. Also, sometimes taking photos of humans feels so vulnerable and I’m not always sure a camera in a friend’s face in their home or another intimate interaction is welcome, so I resort to photographing the setting for memory instead. But photos of people that are welcomed and where the image captures a true feeling are just the best✨
agreed on trying to evoke that beautiful feeling! i think that is cool.
i was just talking to my friend about how it seems people are more vulnerable about photos now because of the implied culture of sharing so i completely understand what youre saying here. but pictures like that really are the best!
perhaps there is also an element of not only further reflecting on the content of the pictures you take but also thinking about times when not taking pictures might also be really interesting and further enhance the experience? i find that the pictures i take hardly ever do the actual moment justice (maybe that’s a commentary on my photo skills, not sure) so naturally became less interested in capturing the moment that way vs. being super present and creating a really strong memory in my mind.
thanks for always putting interesting things out here; i always look forward to a new post from you!
yes, i feel like sometimes when im taking photos im trying to take the moment hostage because i dont want to lose it! totally grasping and escaping the present moment completely. i sometimes love when theres been a weekend i didnt take a photo at all because i was truly just enjoying it. and thank you for reading, Lauren!
Loved reading this. I make printed albums from my camera roll for my kids for Christmas each year, and doing this makes me mindful of what I’m taking photos of. In saying that, in this process I always notice how much crap and try hard aesthetic photos I have in my camera roll. When I’m off insta (most of the time), the try hard photos are less, thank goodness. I’m getting my daughter a film camera for her bday so we can all practice that ol’ thing we used to do— take photos selectively… not 738 photos of one latte. X
yes. photo albums! ive been inspired to do that. i think having a film camera is a great solution to this. i recently took film on a trip and i realized it feels so different than my phone camera, not just because i have to pay to develop it but its not so charged with the idea of "performing" or "sharing". anything that cuts back on the try hard photos 😂 is great
I have to ask though, how does one get photos of themselves looking moodily into the distance?
Also don’t get people taking photos of food or smoothies. Who are those photos for? Who will look at them again?
The reason we do it (or one of the reasons we do) is because it’s free to do it. This G-D smartphone has changed us. You wouldn’t waste FILM or the $$$ it cost to develop photos taking photos of your dinner plate or smoothies. No one would! And no one did. That’s why we gave photos of people and architectural wonders and beautiful vistas from the past—-and why now people have 10s of 1000s of photos in the cloud of their shoes.
I don’t think this helps us in any way. I think it distracts us. It makes us shallow. That point you made about fixing your hair and the friend took the photo of the food instead? That’s poignant. And weird too!
I probably sound like a cranky old person. I want to throw out this phone. I want to get off Substack (getting off social media, IG, FB, yeh cool, I did they already, so? Now I’m sucked in here… explain the difference…)
One day I was in a bustling restaurant for brunch. A family walked in, 3 daughters… likely 8, 9, maybe 11? All three had a smartphone. The one who had her back to me, I caught a glance of a screen replete with apps. The three of them were engrossed in those phones—-whatsoever could they be looking at? Why weren’t they interacting with each other, or their parents?
I have no point. This is simply the 3rd Substack I’ve read this morning about being off social media and such and I’m baffled by the irony, becuz Substack is just as bad. No ads, but…
one gets photos of themselves looking moodily by holding strangers/lovers/friends carelessly hostage for a few mins (way too much time) while they strike a pose without asking the person to join them for the photo ;)
im with you on the phone usage. its striking when you look around.
also with you on substack - it is social media. i take long breaks from it myself (why im a little late to comment) but the notes feature/oversaturation of content...it can start to feel out of hand too. trying to balance it is a challenge! thanks for the comment
With these soulless photos I think we are trying to convince ourselves that our lives are valuable, but that value is coming from the praise of others on social in the form of likes. There’s something inherently sad about it, as if we don’t really think our experiences are “good” enough as reality, and we have to “sell” our lives to others so they feel valid… or something like that.
Brilliant, and thought-provoking! I’m really taking this all on board. Plus I’m never in the photos with my kids, I always feel self conscious. That stops now!
Brilliant, as always!! I’ve always been deeply self-conscious of the way I look (and photograph) so I capture so few pictures of myself. That itself is a tragedy because I’m writing myself out of my own history. But also I take fewer pictures of people in my life unless I can capture their best angles and “candid” shots that are anything but.
I will say a lot of that changed when I had kids (not that this is an answer) but now my camera roll is filled with giggly videos of them chasing squirrels, etc. Now if only I could allow myself the same experience…
PS- Happy Birthday from a fellow Gemini (June 4!)
+1 to generally hating how i photograph.
there are a few things that have helped me move past this a little, in case you are interested:
1. when i look back on photos of myself years later, i actually have often liked the picture and don’t think any of the things i thought about myself at the time were actually true. recognizing this and remembering that whatever i think about a current picture now probably isn’t accurate either has been immensely helpful.
2. making sure things i can’t change about my physical appearance are the least interesting things about me while embracing my own personal style and being confident in how i conduct myself as i move in the world; thinking that my body is for living/ not looking; having gratitude for all of the things that my body does for me physically.
3. remembering that photos of physical things are hardly ever done justice to how they appear in real life so maybe that’s true of me too. this one is somewhat a smidge delulu maybe but it resonates since we’re not talking about something very high stakes and thinking about myself as an amazing sunset that just cannot be captured on film makes me laugh.
these are amazing!!! im here for all of it and hey the delulu seems pretty harmless here so im fully supportive
Bravo to all these reminders; especially number 3! Honestly having kids also helped me realize this; I can stick my phone in their faces all I want or I could sit back and enjoy them.
I literally just said #1 about myself! Actually, all of your points are very good and I agree. You could write a post about that!
yes, i get so self conscious in photos too! weirdly more so when its a phone rather than a film camera- probably because of our relationship with constant sharing? i think i took selfies because i could control the narrative of how i looked haha.
i was really, really curious to hear from people with children because i was curious how their relationship to photos is as well. i like that my sister tries to get in the photos with her kids so they have memories together, too!
also love my gemini twins -- happy bday to you Kelly!!!
“I’m writing myself out of my own history.”
Oof, I FEEL that! And can relate so much.
No kids here (yet), but my photos are now mostly of my niece, who was born in March. It’s exciting to see how she grows and changes each day—and the photos reflect that! Candid, sometimes blurry, not always “picture perfect.” I also wish I could allow myself that same experience, to be awed by even bad photos of myself.
Hopefully with time! (And for me, more time away from Instagram!)
I’m glad I’m not alone in taking everyone else’s photo!! Here’s to you and me taking more unplanned photos of OURSELVES this year.
I feel you deeply on feeling self-conscious about the way you look, I have that too... but I am slowly getting over it (at almost 50, sheesh). Sometimes I look at a photo I am in right away and cringe, but I will look at it later and I somehow look better (in my eyes). What is that all about!
Has anyone else noticed the cool girl/guy/person “trend” of BAD photo dumps? I first noticed Gen Z (much younger family members and kids of my coworkers…yikes) posting carousels of not-at-all aesthetic pictures that seem to be intentionally random/unflattering. They are usually accompanied by a 2 or 3 word caption that is not at all descriptive of what the carousel contains, and the photos look like they were taken with a shitty camera instead of the super deluxe iPhone you know they are using. More recently, I’ve seen celeb accounts doing the same thing. Does this have a name? Am I just the last person on earth to wake up to it?
YES! SO interesting and im so glad you brought this up. must investigate
Just found this excellent article about photo dumps! https://open.substack.com/pub/bonnierzm/p/why-you-cant-create-the-perfect-photo?r=1mv8cw&utm_medium=ios
Yes! I see so much of this in the like - artsy quirky Brooklyn crowd/breed of people (I’m from New York). I’m generalizing here so no one get offended! I feel like it’s just a different brand of being curated without coming across curated. And being enigmatic in a way where you’re not actually being vulnerable or clear as to what you are sharing but kind of just portraying a character, a cool messy organic life, a quirky aesthetic, etc…I also remember reading an article about the newer movement of “curated authentic photo dumps” that aren’t actually authentic at all.
YES. EXACTLY. it’s anti-curated.
It is very interesting. I wouldn't say thought it is done in a mean-spirited way. A huge percentage of the world owns an iPhone but modern society is just taking things differently However, these 'bad' photo dumps aren't anything new necessarily.
that is a trend that is been going on for years, it was seen as less, of course.
nowadays, it is seen more naturally... i think we are just absorbing what it is like to enjoy an 'ordinary' lifestyle without using a gigantic photostick to place our phone cameras on objects to get the right angle of our outfits, or the filters used to drown out the 'hideous' realism.
it is expressed more comfortably now, so it is pretty fascinating to see, i think everyone is getting tired of the superficials and just wants to be themselves.
I recently started taking a disposable camera with me when I travel, which I feel like sort of reorients what I’m taking a photo for. While I’m totally guilty of taking 1000x photos of my food normally, it feels stupid to “waste” film on a picture of my fish tacos. The physical photos I will want to keep are the ones that will evoke a felt memory… so maybe there’s still a scene from a boat ride or a snap of some beautiful flowers, but there tend to be lots more of group photos and smiling faces, too.
Thanks for this thoughtful piece as always! And happy happy birthday!
yes honestly some objects do really evoke a feeling for me too! i want to remember them as well - and theres a way to do it without them dominating the scene. im leaning way more into film lately and it feels so good! thanks for the bday wishes :)
Love this Teresa, and it reminds me of when I was younger (40 now) and went travelling around Europe, back in circa 2001, there were no iPhones, obviously, so film was all that was available (though digital cameras were starting to become more popular, I didn’t have one yet) all my photos are on film and it did make taking photos more special in a way.. I was careful and considered about each frame because each photo was at a cost, wild to think of now! My boyfriend at the time and I used to have issues around how many photos I took, something that just would not be a problem today! Also travelling with all my precious film was a concern, keeping them safe and dry. Things we don’t need to consider today. I love that you use film when travelling, you’ve inspired me to do the same when I go to Japan later in the year. So thank you for the idea x
I audibly laughed out loud with the yoga mat montage. I’ve never felt so comically called out by a camera roll screen shot. Bravo on the whole thing once again!!!!
hahaha i know, there were WAY too many other ones like that! thank you Victoria
The yoga mat camera roll used to be me!!
One of my bucket list items for this year was to take a 1 second video each day for a month - I wasn't going to share this video with anyone else (okay, maybe I'd show a close friend or two if they asked), but it would force me to capture moments for the memories. My only condition was that it had to be a moment of joy.
I loved this exercise because it #1) made me realize there is a lot more joy in each day...whether it's the warmth of a walk or a hug from your pup #2) being forced to take a video prevented me from getting caught in the trap of wanting to capture the perfect angle and #3) taking videos of the same cup of coffee gets pretty boring when you're the only one that is going to be watching this later...it forced me to capture the moments that were different and I found myself asking my friends if it'd be okay if I took a one second video of them for the memories.
The resulting video gives me a lot of joy and I love rewatching it! Plus, it's filled with a healthy combination of aesthetic happy shots and joyous snippets of hanging with friends and family!
i love this idea. so beautiful
Utterly fabulous idea - can I steal it :-)! I think this would be a wonderful exercise.
Please do!!
Wow. This reminds me of 16 year old me, getting back the developed pictures from the family trip (with 99 cent doubles!). So many pictures of scenery that just fell flat; the only keepers were the ones of people. Those are the only ones I still have. I think this was a hard lesson back when you had to pay for every photo. But you are absolutely right about scrolling through your photos - there are months that I scroll through a few shots of my dogs, a handful of screenshots, a picture of the sky and a car, and I think, what have I even been doing? Living of course, and no one wants to see pictures of my office computer, but I need to remind myself that the best photos are those of my friends and family.
Thank you!
there were lessons in those 99 cent doubles for sure! there are definitely time frames when my photos go blank - and i think thats totally okay too. & agreed that the best photos are of my friends + fam.
Came here to say this too! So many photos of landscapes in the 90s, no idea where it was 😆
What amazing self exploration! I think there has been a massive deprioritization of relationships in general due to hyperindividualism.
Also, thinking about social media reduces the distance between marketing and our lives. We can't tell the difference anymore. It used to be for magazines. Maybe that is why people disappear too? They aren't beautiful enough for the food in the image?
Or more so, the moment with the person isn't special? We assume we will have a thousand more meals together and we will look good enough to photograph next time. (Probably neither are true).
exactly...i wonder if its more of an american / cultural thing too. and we do always assume there will be more, youre so right.
Agree- we always think we’ll have more meals and more time with loved ones. Great reminder ❤️
I actually struggled with this a little even before Instagram! And I still do years after leaving my personal account behind.
For me, there’s an element of wanting to hold on to something beautiful, to capture it and therefore cling to it. It’s a way of grasping at life as it slips by. But all I’m doing is objectifying a particular moment, something that is inherently transient. It’s like trying to hoard beauty.
❤️ you said it so well
♥️ Urgh you’re bang on the discourse, again!!! I feel the EXACT same way about my camera roll. I also listened to a top divorce lawyer on a podcast who said ‘NO COUPLE WHO LOOKS THAT HAPPY ARE HAPPY IN REAL LIFE’ and I think about that a lot. When I was in the unhappiest moments of my marriage I often felt the need to post the ‘happiest’ looking shots. It’s as if, by lying to myself, I could pretend my life online was as ‘real’ as I felt offline. It’s totally fucked up! Out of boredom and a lack of authenticity, I’ve now left Instagram….and I feel so relieved to be free of the bullshit I was participating in for a decade. I was only lying to myself.
i agree so hard with this! ❤️
Really appreciate this reflection and fully relate. I am now 8 years into parenthood and my relationship with picture taking has changed a few times along the way. Early parenting and my camera roll was FILLED with kid pics (your yoga mat montage could have been replaced with my 6 month old on a picnic blanket). But over the last few years I’ve started questioning why I need to document every second of my children’s lives. I deleted all social media years back, so it also wasn’t about “likes”. I think it has to do with the constant reminder that these moments are fleeting and my kids are constantly changing. One of the many bittersweet elements of parenthood. my challenge now is actually being present with the kids and minimizing the pictures altogether.
Same!! An everything in moderation approach feels nice. Even with pics of my kids.
❤️
this is so lovely ❤️
Sometimes I think I spend time taking a “beautiful picture” to evoke the beautiful feelings I have in a moment. Maybe this is just an excuse to aestheticize, but I’m not sure I’m fully opposed to that in noncommercial situations (as a regular person not selling anything, ha.) Why not capture what’s beautiful to us? But I also see how truth telling about what’s ~not~ the frame can be just as noteworthy in some contexts. Also, sometimes taking photos of humans feels so vulnerable and I’m not always sure a camera in a friend’s face in their home or another intimate interaction is welcome, so I resort to photographing the setting for memory instead. But photos of people that are welcomed and where the image captures a true feeling are just the best✨
agreed on trying to evoke that beautiful feeling! i think that is cool.
i was just talking to my friend about how it seems people are more vulnerable about photos now because of the implied culture of sharing so i completely understand what youre saying here. but pictures like that really are the best!
i love this conversation you’ve started!
perhaps there is also an element of not only further reflecting on the content of the pictures you take but also thinking about times when not taking pictures might also be really interesting and further enhance the experience? i find that the pictures i take hardly ever do the actual moment justice (maybe that’s a commentary on my photo skills, not sure) so naturally became less interested in capturing the moment that way vs. being super present and creating a really strong memory in my mind.
thanks for always putting interesting things out here; i always look forward to a new post from you!
yes, i feel like sometimes when im taking photos im trying to take the moment hostage because i dont want to lose it! totally grasping and escaping the present moment completely. i sometimes love when theres been a weekend i didnt take a photo at all because i was truly just enjoying it. and thank you for reading, Lauren!
Loved reading this. I make printed albums from my camera roll for my kids for Christmas each year, and doing this makes me mindful of what I’m taking photos of. In saying that, in this process I always notice how much crap and try hard aesthetic photos I have in my camera roll. When I’m off insta (most of the time), the try hard photos are less, thank goodness. I’m getting my daughter a film camera for her bday so we can all practice that ol’ thing we used to do— take photos selectively… not 738 photos of one latte. X
yes. photo albums! ive been inspired to do that. i think having a film camera is a great solution to this. i recently took film on a trip and i realized it feels so different than my phone camera, not just because i have to pay to develop it but its not so charged with the idea of "performing" or "sharing". anything that cuts back on the try hard photos 😂 is great
Exactly!! Also the added bonus that for some reason we look 10x better in film photos
no joke ive noticed this SO MUCH!
I have to ask though, how does one get photos of themselves looking moodily into the distance?
Also don’t get people taking photos of food or smoothies. Who are those photos for? Who will look at them again?
The reason we do it (or one of the reasons we do) is because it’s free to do it. This G-D smartphone has changed us. You wouldn’t waste FILM or the $$$ it cost to develop photos taking photos of your dinner plate or smoothies. No one would! And no one did. That’s why we gave photos of people and architectural wonders and beautiful vistas from the past—-and why now people have 10s of 1000s of photos in the cloud of their shoes.
I don’t think this helps us in any way. I think it distracts us. It makes us shallow. That point you made about fixing your hair and the friend took the photo of the food instead? That’s poignant. And weird too!
I probably sound like a cranky old person. I want to throw out this phone. I want to get off Substack (getting off social media, IG, FB, yeh cool, I did they already, so? Now I’m sucked in here… explain the difference…)
One day I was in a bustling restaurant for brunch. A family walked in, 3 daughters… likely 8, 9, maybe 11? All three had a smartphone. The one who had her back to me, I caught a glance of a screen replete with apps. The three of them were engrossed in those phones—-whatsoever could they be looking at? Why weren’t they interacting with each other, or their parents?
I have no point. This is simply the 3rd Substack I’ve read this morning about being off social media and such and I’m baffled by the irony, becuz Substack is just as bad. No ads, but…
one gets photos of themselves looking moodily by holding strangers/lovers/friends carelessly hostage for a few mins (way too much time) while they strike a pose without asking the person to join them for the photo ;)
im with you on the phone usage. its striking when you look around.
also with you on substack - it is social media. i take long breaks from it myself (why im a little late to comment) but the notes feature/oversaturation of content...it can start to feel out of hand too. trying to balance it is a challenge! thanks for the comment
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With these soulless photos I think we are trying to convince ourselves that our lives are valuable, but that value is coming from the praise of others on social in the form of likes. There’s something inherently sad about it, as if we don’t really think our experiences are “good” enough as reality, and we have to “sell” our lives to others so they feel valid… or something like that.
there is something truly sad about it, thanks for sharing your thoughts
Brilliant, and thought-provoking! I’m really taking this all on board. Plus I’m never in the photos with my kids, I always feel self conscious. That stops now!
oh wonderful, im sure they would love to have photos with you!