I Spent $13,275 Trying to Buy Hope
I used to throw money at every health trend I came across. Now, I ask myself these questions before buying anything.
It’s surprisingly easy to spend a ridiculous amount of money on basically nothing.
Before I got a handle on my finances, I’d review my monthly credit card bills in absolute horror. It was like each month somehow happened to me, rather than being the result of my own choices.
Here are just a few things I’ve been a “victim” of over the years. I’m not proud of them...
💸 Therapy with a woman who had me tap on my forehead a lot – 20 sessions at $250 a pop. $5,000 total (not covered by insurance)
Did it rewire my brain or did I just develop a habit of tapping my forehead when I’m stressed? Unclear.
💸 Sea moss from a farmers market in San Diego – $180 for 3 jars.
Ate it for three months. No idea if it did anything except make me feel like I was doing something.
💸 A “manifestation” journal – $45
Did it help me get richer and more successful? TBD. But I did spend $45 on a notebook I wrote in twice.
💸 Expensive probiotic supplements – $300 for 5 month supply.
Felt pretty damn virtuous taking them. Too bad no amount of good gut microbes could outmatch a nightly pint of Ben & Jerry’s.
💸Facial acupuncture – $250 for 4 sessions.
It was supposed to boost circulation and give me a “lift.” Mostly, I just ended up texting my friends horrifying selfies of my full Hellraiser transformation:
💸Expensive Goop shampoo that was supposed to "rebalance my scalp" – $40
Smelled nice. My scalp felt poorer.
💸 Blue light blocking glasses – $40 for a cute pair.
I wore them for months. Did they help? I think so? But it felt like wearing a raincoat in the shower…I still stared at my phone way too much.
💸 Anything with the word "detox" in it – $200 for lots of weird stuff.
Detox tea, detox face mask, detox water drops, detox bath. Mostly just expensive marketing steeped in warm water.